Total Drama: Pahkitew Island (my version)
by CourtDogsLove25
Summary: Season 5.2, same contestants, some with different roles, different relationships, and different elimination orders. Episodes before the merge are put in different order, but the final three stays the same except for one unexpected contestant.
1. Contestant biographies & audition tapes

Contestants

Sky (The Wild Chick)-An aspiring jungle queen raised in the wilderness, Sky is definitely in touch with her feral personality and thinks of herself as a wild animal. Due to her uncultivated background, Sky is so athletically talented that she can jump from tree to tree without much difficulty, single-handedly destroy an army of robots, and swipe a crystal without her teammates noticing. She is also an expert survivalist and can make the oddest scraps useful, adeptly hunt for food, find water in unlikely places and make shelter at a moment's notice. She may be fun-loving and easy to get along, but she is hard-to-handle and extremely rebellious, not letting others tame her passive-aggressive nature and does not take rejection very well, rejecting reality if it does not suit her to the point where she slips into insanity, seen by her unrequited infatuation for Dave despite already having a boyfriend back home.

Audition: Hi! I'm Sky! You probably know me as a WILD JUNGLE QUEEN, BABY! YEEEAAAHHHH! Oh yeah, I was raised in the wild by those two humans wearing those light green shirts and dark green shorts so I guess you can say I'm part-tiger, part-lion, part-bear, part-snake, and part-wolf! (Laughs) I'm basically a wild animal! And when I win, I'm going to usurp the island as my very own PERSONAL THRONE! But if I do get picked on this show, I'll really miss my boyfriend Keith. (Sighs) I'm gonna think about him every day when I'm on the show. (Blows kiss) Love you!

* * *

><p>Dave (The Neat Freak)-Very orderly, civilized, and uptight, Dave has an intense fear of germs and is disdainful of any form of mess as well as having very low tolerance of people with little to no manners. He is also a logical thinker, but finds himself having to deal with his teammates' antics, especially Sky's. However, he starts a romantic relationship with Ella and generally means well to other people's feelings, with the exception of Sky's fantasizing romance with him and he persistently declines a relationship to the point of harshly rejecting her, becoming even further disgusted when he learns that she forgotten about her boyfriend back home, unknowingly cheating on him with her insane infatuation for Dave.<p>

Audition: Hi, I'm Dave and-EEEEWWW! A speck of dirt on the lens?! UGH! Disgusting! (Sprays and wipes lens) Okay, start over! (Clears throat) Hi, I'm Dave and I like to be on your "Total Island thing show". The drama one, "Total Drama!" That's what it's called! I really should've written down what I wanted to say, but the only pen I could find was all chewed up! And not by me! Kind of grossed out thinking about that. (Puts on sanitizer) Anyways, as a competitor, I'd be polite, appropriate towards people. Civilized to new friends, know what I mean? Keep them at their best. Yep, I'm gonna play this okay.

* * *

><p>Sugar (The British Pageantry Slob)-A British girl who is determined to be crowned queen of the pageant, believing the show to be one. Sugar is used to the life of competition and beauty, and has exhibited impressive game strategies despite her lack of brainpower and difficulty of distinguishing fact from fiction. Being gluttonous, she will not even hesitate to eat a tarantula and constantly believes to deserve to have anything she wants and willing to play dirty to get it, becoming stubbornly spoiled and ruthless if she doesn't. Due to the pageant life, Sugar seems to be suspicious of others, as she wouldn't recognize true kindness and is willing to tell lies to manipulate others.<p>

Audition: (British accent) I'm an obvious choice because I've been on T.V before. You probably recognize me from the Darwin Food Safari Restaurant Commercials. (Laughs) Oh yeah, I'm a pro! (Cut to restaurant) (Sings) Hungry for tasty snack. Zebra, tiger, dolphin, yak. Come inside, please join me. At Darwin's Food Safari! (Normal) Now with Gouda, now on your plate. I mean, a face on your plate. I mean, a plate for your face! Whoa! (Falls down) Damn! (Farts)

* * *

><p>Ella (The Singsong Princess)-A songbird with a personality just as angelic as her singing voice. Ella is highly enthusiastic and expresses her emotions through music and dance. Her songs have the ability to tame even the most ferocious animals on the island. They love her for it and she feels the same way for them. Being a huge fan of Total Drama World Tour, she sings throughout the season, oblivious to the annoyance of other contestants, though most of them hold nothing against her as a person. Despite nearly constantly in a great mood and open to doing whatever it takes to cheer somebody up, she finally unleashes a violent side when she is pushed around to no end throughout the next season.<p>

Audition: My name is Ella. I was a huge fan of Total Drama World Tour. I memorized all the songs from that season and performed them at the local mall in a one person flash mob! And then the nice security man told me I had a beautiful voice, and that I was banned from the mall. (Sings) Please, pick meeee! (Neighbor yells) (Normal) My apartment walls are very thin. (Sings) Sorry, Mr. McGillis!

* * *

><p>Jasmine (The Rodeo Cowgirl)-Raised in the harsh conditions of the Australian outback as a Southern American immigrant ranch worker, Jasmine is a professional cowgirl. Due to her experiences in the ranch, she is quick to take charge and is quite commandeering. However, she is very friendly and respectful to others, and makes up for her bossiness using her rodeo and bullfighting prowess to win her team the most challenges. After holding a grudge for a substantial amount of time against the lumberjack Rodney, she begins a relationship with him.<p>

Audition: (Southern accent) Australia's home to eleven of the world's most deadliest creatures. Oh, and our toilets do not flush backwards. I think that's about all you need to know where I'm from, even if I'm a Southern American type immigrant. But I do love the rodeo here. Yee-haw! Oh, and this is my cat, Whiskers. (Cat bites) OWW! (Falls down, stand back up) She's pretty frightful.

* * *

><p>Rodney (The Lumberjack Loverboy)-A lumberjack boy who is a hopeless romantic and confused with attraction to females, but can be very sweet, caring, and considerate of others. Unfortunately, his most useful quality is his large size as opposed to his brain, as he is strong enough to carry a person with one hand. To his credit, he is monogamously confused and this costs him his relationship with Jasmine, the only girl that has actual feelings for him. Realizing his mistake, he overcomes his pursuits to other girls and makes multiple attempts to apologize, finally succeeding when he saves her from being tagged by the nauseated contestants, and she solidifies it with a kiss, becoming his official girlfriend.<p>

Audition: Hi, Rodney here. I just wanted to say that if you pick me, I'll be leaving behind my special lady Debbie. We haven't actually spoken yet, but the second we do I know it's going to be love. Same goes for Rachel, Alicia, Tammy...Christine, Becky, Mary Lou, Mary Jane...and there's that girl from the store. I think it was a girl. It could've been a mannequin. But one thing's for sure, its true love! You're probably worried that I'll meet some new gal on the island but (chuckles) what are chances of that happening?

* * *

><p>Shawn (The Hipster)-An unconventional hipster, Shawn believes everything outside the social mainstream is boring and uninteresting, and tends to be unmotivated and lazy. As a result, he is not the greatest asset in challenges and would abandon his team out of boredom. True to his subculture, he is only into independent music labels and substantial knowledge, wears vintage clothes, and ignorant of others' opinions about him. However, the only known thing outside of his hipster character is his intense fear of zombies, a fact that embarrasses him greatly.<p>

Audition: (Sarcastically) Oh, I'm sorry, are you recording this in such a boring time? (Cameraman about to say something) Don't care about what you're gonna say, it's just like how everything's super LAME and soooo overrated. Just like this audition tape for Total Drama where I intend to tell you all how after four seasons of dangerous stuff happening there, it's really gone out of being the same old thing. In my world, I'm all about being nothing SPECIAL, and if you are, you're out of your mind. Feel free to join me as if I care, it's just money you're risking for and all. (Walks away)

* * *

><p>Leonard (The Role-Playing Wizard)-A live action role playing geek, Leonard believes he is a real wizard and has magic powers. He is very passionate about his wizardry and persists on his "spells" no matter how ineffective they seem. Despite being extremely useless, Leonard is surprisingly charismatic and takes the leadership role of his team, but his mind is never in the right place at appropriate times.<p>

Audition: What would make me a good contestant? Well, I battle armies of vampires and demons, the darkest mountains of Ravenscroft, and I defeated them all with my-(cellphone rings) Hello? Oh! Hey, Timmy. Nah, I can't, making a video. Ah, it's just someone stole my unicycle. Yes, I'm vewy sewious! What?! But it's raining. (Chuckles) Nooo, I'm not made of paperrr. But my cape is.

* * *

><p>Beardo (The Human Soundboard)-Quite skilled at sound production, Beardo is a sound-effects master. While friendly and shy, he prefers to focus more on making noises than contributing in challenges until he becomes comfortable around someone. Although he is usually silent like B, he speaks much more.<p>

Audition: (beatboxes) Hello…my name is Bee-air-dough. I. Am pretty shy. And until I warm up to you. People I tend to. Just make noises and be generally bothersome. I hope that if I am selected, my. Team can see past that and give me a chance to show them. What a great guy. I. Truly am. Thank you.

* * *

><p>Amy (The Bad Twin)-The main antagonist of Total Drama: Pahkitew Island, Amy is snarky, aggressive, impatient, and will take advantage of anyone if she finds the opportunity. She considers herself to be far more superior over everyone else, including her own twin sister, Samey. Despite being the strategist of her team and more willing to help them win in her favor, Amy frequently takes credit for their own plans and other accomplishments and constantly clashes with Jasmine for the leadership role. She also refuses to take responsibility over her own failures, placing the blame on someone else whenever something goes amiss and viewing them inferior. Eventually, she is forced to fend for herself after Jasmine turns everyone against her, but succeeds in not only getting Samey cheated out in the place of herself but also fooling everyone to believe she is her twin. She has even gone as far as threatening to kill the other contestants just for the million dollars.<p>

Audition: I just saw Samey's pathetic audition tape for Total Drama, so I've decided to submit my own. Because oh my gag, who would pick her or anyone else over me?! I was born first, and Samey has been coming in last ever since, just like everybody else! My bags are already packed, just send the limo.

* * *

><p>Samey (The Good Twin)-The sweet, friendly and bubbly twin sister of Amy, Samey easily gets along with everyone unlike her twin. She is completely oblivious to her sister's cruel treatment towards people, and signed up for Total Drama to grow closer to her, but later faces difficulty when Amy becomes much wicked as the season progresses. Charismatic to a fault, Samey is a natural team player and strives to see the best in people and can be encouraging and will give advice to those who require it. A true white knight who plays by the book with a strong sense of good sportsmanship to match, she is considered to be her sister's foil and is firmly against anyone exhibiting foul play and does not tolerate cheaters, especially when Amy cheats her out to save herself from elimination. As a result, she even goes to the point of swimming back to the island to expose Amy for her deception. However, in the finale, she had reconciled with Amy and the two work together to deliver payback for Sky and Scarlett's cheating, though Samey feels concerned for their safety.<p>

Audition: Hi! I'm Sammy, NOT Samey. Well, at least that's how my parents pronounced it, so I guess everybody pretty much calls me Samey. I mean, guess it spells in my name right? (Chuckles) Anyway me and my sister Amy, we get along pretty well, I think. And I'm really confident, cause of my sister and-(Amy: SAMEY! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!) Uuhh, gotta go! (Chuckles) Pick mee!

* * *

><p>Scarlett (The Bookworm Assistant)-A highly intelligent individual, with a shy yet enigmatic behavior. When she does speak, she tends to transcend into being very talkative and her extensive vocabulary has a habit of confusing her teammates, so she is usually required to simplify her suggestions. Although she has a polite exterior and a well-intentioned nature, Scarlett is also shown to be very crafty, and can easily manipulate other people with her superior brain power. After the merge, she goes as far to resort to cheating, despite playing fair most of the season. Though she is doing this as a desperate attempt to achieve her goal of becoming a great scholar, Scarlett however does feel guilty about it and considers calling off her cheating and split the money with the other contestants. Thanks to this, she is eventually able to put her friendships in front of her education at the end of the game.<p>

Audition: Greetings. My parents named me Scarlett. A name derived from the English surname with the occupational meaning, referring to a person who sells cloth. Personally, I have higher expectations for myself. The one million dollar prize would ensure that I am able to attend any university at my choosing. And I should add that while the Total Drama series is "statistically popular", I believe it is directly responsible for the troubled behavior of today's youth. I thank the selection community for their time. That is all.

* * *

><p>Max (The Not-So-Super Villain)-Obsessed with being the most diabolical mind Total Drama has ever seen, Max is constantly boasting about being the personification of the word "evil." In reality, however, he is a very incompetent, pathetic excuse of a villain, and usually causes more trouble for himself then he does for others. This lack of acknowledgment leads to him sabotaging his team during the second challenge, but it backfires onto himself as he becomes the first of his team to be eliminated.<p>

Audition: I feel being a contestant on Total Drama would be a great step towards TAKING OVER THE WORLD! BUAHAHAHA! And also meeting people, I don't get out much. But I should warn you, I am evil. I know right now you're probably saying: "We've got plenty of evil on our show." To that, I say NAY. You have never seen evil like me. I am beyond evil, we need a new word for the evil that I am. I've been working on that, but with my French horn lessons and babysitting, there's just no time.

* * *

><p>Topher (The Uber-Chris Fan)-As a huge Chris McLean fan, Topher frequently goes out of his way to try to talk to Chris, which usually causes him to not be very much help for his team. Just like Chris, Topher can be quite arrogant and frequently admires himself. He joins the show not to only win the prize money, but to be exactly like Chris, even to the point of the suggestion of getting plastic surgery to look like him. He is very obsessive in this endeavor and frequently becoming disturbing even to Chris himself.<p>

Audition: (adjusts camera) Topher here, a lot of people told me I feel like a Chris McLean. In fact, he's my hero and (excitedly) I HOPE TO BE LIKE HIM! And I just love the way he does his job. (Megaphone) HEY, HEY! MORNING CAMPERS, TIME TO EAT PAIN! (Chuckles) (Normal) I don't care about the money, I just wanted a chance to meet Chris in person to say WELCOME TO TOTAL, DRAMA-(Cat attacks) AAAHHH! NO! BAD CHEF! AAGH!


	2. So, Uh This Is My Team? (with opening)

**I don't own Total Drama** and its characters. Total Drama belongs to Tom McGillis and Fresh TV.

Opening

Equipment appears all over island, camera speeds pass Topher with arm around Chris.

_Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine._

Chris pushes him off, camera speeds to edge of cliff.

_You guys are on my mind._

Camera falls to ground, crashes in pile of leaves.

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

Scene shifts to Samey picking berries into bucket.

_And now I think the answer is plain to see._

Amy comes up sneaking and dumps another bucket on Samey's head, runs away smirking. Samey frowns confused.

_I wanna be famous._

Scene shifts to Shawn lying back on rock listening to music, scuba bear tries to swipe at him, misses, Shawn calmly sits up and walks off, scuba bear gives chase.

_I wanna live close to the sun._

Scene shifts to Sugar and several animals listening to Ella singing. Annoyed, Sugar pushes Ella down the cliff, causing the animals to attack her.

_Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won._

Scene shifts to Jasmine and Rodney sitting on same branch holding hands, Sky pops out of tree hole with binoculars searching for prey, all three watching Ella carried down by birds.

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

Ella lands safely, turns around, and sees Dave.

_I'll get there one day._

Scene shifts to Dave being annoyed by Beardo making sound effects and Leonard "casting" a spell.

_Cause, I wanna be famous!_

Camera turns to Scarlett watching as Max laughs evilly and activates a robot. The robot malfunctions and begins to short circuit, Max falls to floor covering head, while Scarlett opens up an umbrella to protect herself from the sparks, smirking. Robot explodes.

_Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!_

Debris hits uncovered panel on tree, island goes haywire

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous_

Topher moves camera over to him, smiling, applies black hair dye, rubs mud around mouth to form five o' clock shadow, poses then drenched by water above, looks up from shock.

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous_

Camera moves up to Chris and Chef with bucket smirking, zooms in to sky turning dark, shifts to bonfire ceremony, Jasmine and Rodney lean to kiss, Chris pops up and scares Rodney away with flashlight face

(_Whistling in tune_)

Camera slowly zooms out to Pimâpotew Kinosewak and Waneyihtam Maskwak whistling while Jasmine stares at camera awkwardly.

* * *

><p><span>So, Uh This Is My Team?<span>

The new season of Total Drama begins with fourteen new contestants (Sky, Dave, Ella, Jasmine, Max, Scarlett, Topher, Leonard, Beardo, Shawn, Rodney, Amy, Samey, and Sugar) arriving to a new island and finding out it's much tougher than the previous. They are placed on two teams (Pimâpotew Kinosewak and Waneyihtam Maskwak), and the race to win starts as they have to build their new homes. Beardo's annoying ability and unhelpful tendencies end up getting him sent flying.

* * *

><p>(Total Drama blimp)<p>

Ella: (humming)

Sky: (mischievously) Hheeeyy, want some guuuumm?

Max: Your offer of simple confectionery will not save you from the pure evil of me! But yes, thank you. (Chews gum, cringes, and spits) Cinnamon! There is no need for you to be that spicy.

Sky: HAHAHAH! GOTCHA! What's the matter? Can't handle the spice?! YYEEAAAAAHHHH! WHOO-HOO! (Flips to rafter) He's totally off kilter!

Dave: That girl's a little weird.

Leonard: Experiamus! I know many spells to thwart out evil.

Dave: (confused) Um, okay?

Ella: And there's nothing that can't be made sweeter with a song. (Sings and dances across contestants)

Beardo: (beat-boxes) (high-pitched) Song!

Amy: (disgusted) Ugh! (Serious) Okay, switch seats with me, right now!

Samey: Uuhh, (happy) okay!

(Twins switch)

Amy: (scared) (gasps) GIANT!

Jasmine: (frowns) (Southern accent) Are you and I gonna have a problem? Huh?!

Amy: (panics) (pulls Samey) Okay, changed my mind, switch back, now!

Samey: (confused) Huh?

Topher: (searching) Chris? Yo, Chris? (Chuckles) What the, I don't get it! Chris! Chris has gotta be here somewhere! Anyone seen Chris? (To Sugar) You seen Chris?

Sugar: (pins Topher) (British accent) Stop your fidgeting! You step on my pageant shoes and I'm going to personally toss you out the window! You'll be squished flatter in two minutes! You got that?!

Scarlett: Actually, in the first fourteen seconds he would fall eighteen hundred feet, but then he'd lose terminal velocity and drop seventy-six feet per second, so if we're flying at the recommended thirty-two thousand feet, he would hit the ground in three minutes six seconds…

Rodney: Wow. (To Shawn listening to music) That girl has some real brains, huh? (Shawn doesn't notice) Uuh, hey. (Taps Shawn's shoulder)

Shawn: (notices and takes off headphones) (sarcastically) Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me?

Rodney: Uh, yeah, I said-

Shawn: (dismissal hand wave) Don't care about your tree-chopping stories, lumberjack. Your kind are all sooo 1920s boriiing. No one is getting my brains on how lumberjacks are too stupid to realize that they are deforesting the world. (Puts headphones back on)

(Thunder crashing)

Chef: (intercom) Hang on! This might get hairy!

(Blimp rumbling, contestants panic)

Ella: (crawls on floor panicking) (singing)

(Chris appears)

Chris: (smirks) Hello, newbies! Ready for some fun?

Topher and Ella: (excited) Yes!

Chris: (annoyed) Huh. A couple of keeners. I'm sure a little pain and starvation will fix that. (Happy) Let's get started. This aircraft stinks and is equipped with two emergency exits, here and at the end of the cabin. At said exits, you will find parachute packs. (Knocks on box) Only half of them contain actual parachutes, the other half contain surprises which will be utterly useless while falling from the sky.

Sky: (hanging from rafters) (Laughs) Like we ever need them!

Chris: (shrugs) Who knows? This season is full of surprises. (Pulls out remote) Like this! (Blows up engine)

Contestants: (scream and run around grabbing parachutes) (jump out of blimp)

Topher: (excited) THIS IS SO GREAT! (Laughs) You've really outdone yourself, Chris! (Chuckles and offers parachute) Parachute?

Chris: Oh, no thank you, I'm actually a hologram.

Chef: (panic) What?! Why ain't I a hologram?! (Touches through hologram, gasps) ABANDON SHIP! (Grabs parachute from Topher, jumps out of blimp)

Topher: (impressed) Nice anticipation!

Chris: Thank you.

(Topher jumps out of blimp)

(Contestants and Chef falling)

Jasmine: The good-old koala once said, cluck to the platypus for luck! (Opens parachute)

Beardo: (fail/chicken parachute) WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH.

Samey: (holding Amy's legs) AAAHHH!

Amy: (opens parachute) YES! (Looks at Samey) (Annoyed) Um, what do you think you're doing? You have your OWN parachute, right? USE IT! (Kicks Samey off)

Samey: (opens parachute) (happy) ALL RIGHT! Thanks Amy!

Amy: (annoyed) Whatever!

Sky: (fail/cat parachute) (gasps) (tries to catch cat) OH! DARN! I missed my prey! That's just PURR-FECT! (Laughs) I made a funny!

Sugar: (fail/tiara parachute) (puts on tiara) (happy) Oh, thank you! I haven't prepared to make a speech but (pulls out paper) I'm so glad to be crowned the- (Dave smacks face into paper) HEY!

Dave: (fail/feather parachute) Feathers? (Disgusted) EEEWWW! Have these things even been washed? And worst of all, unorganized! Seriously?!

Topher: (opens parachute) (excited) YES! Chris is definitely MY hero!

Leonard: (fail/tambourine parachute) (pulls out book) Time to cast a spell! Hmm, wings? Uh, page 318.

Chef: (fail/food parachute) Oh, that's just wrong!

Rodney: (opens parachute) Alright!

Ella: (fail/teddy parachute) (happy) (gasps) Fly safe, little bear! (Bird rests on finger) Hello, friend, care for a song? (Bird chirps in approval) (Sings) I'm falling on a sunny, sunny day, hit the ground, I just may!

Scarlett: (opens parachute)

Shawn: (fail/hotdog parachute) Hotdogs? (Sarcastically) Meh, original. I'd grab one but HELLO, they would all unsurprisingly be the same as everything else.

Jasmine: (catches Shawn then Leonard)

Leonard: Hey-hey! My spell worked!

(Contestants about to crash)

Shawn: (looks at Jasmine) (Sarcastically) You know, it's surprising that a girl like you would be that tall, usually guys are much taller than girls so I'd say you're a FREAK.

Jasmine: (angry) OH, YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT TO ME! (Throws Shawn)

Shawn: (deadpan) Meh, whatever. (Crashes into rock) URGH! OWW!

Chris: And here they come now!

(Beardo, Dave, Sugar, and Chef crash into water)

(Jasmine with Leonard, and Samey lands)

Samey: (happy) O-M-G! I DID IT!

Amy: Break my fall!

Samey: Huh? (Amy lands on Samey) OW!

Amy: (Sarcastically) Oops, sorry.

Samey: (happy) (muffled) No worries!

Sky: (Smirks) Feel the power of the swan! (Slides on tree, flips, and swan dives into water) YEAH!

(Topher, Scarlett, Rodney, and Ella lands)

Ella: (happy) (to bird) Thank you, my feathered friend!

Chris: (shocked) H-how did-

Chef: (annoyed) You could've at least given me one of the parachutes!

Chris: (Smirks) Should've, could've, (shrugs) but didn't. But you're right, and I forgive you. (Turns to contestants) Let's see… (Counting contestants) Huh, only one missing. Not so bad.

Max: (dangling from tree) If you do not release me tree, evil will burn you to the- (falls out of tree)

* * *

><p>Chris: Welcome to Pahkitew Island. On the right, everyone who has actual parachutes. Scarlett, Topher, Rodney, Jasmine, Max, Amy, and Samey.<p>

Samey: Um, actually it's pronounced "Sammy".

Chris: (sarcastically) Oh, really? Cause from what I've heard, Amy says everyone calls you "Samey" just like how it spells. That right?

Samey: Well, yeah I know how it spells, but-

Chris: Already got a Sammy, Sam here last time so that name suits you better, isn't it? And rhymes with "Amy", if you will.

Samey: But my parents pronounced it-

Chris: (irritated) Too bad! You're officially "Samey" and that's final! Now stop whining about it, or you're disqualified for copyright infringement!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Samey: (disappointed) Okay, so not fair. (Cheers up) But I've got to admit, my name is spelled that way, so no one besides my parents had ever pronounced it right. Anyways, I auditioned for Total Drama because Amy was going to. We haven't spent much time together lately so I hope we become the best of friends by the end of the season!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Chris: Your team will be (reads card) the Pimâpotew Kinosewak, which is Cree for Soaring Eagles!<p>

Sky: NOPE, WRONG! It's the Floating Salmon! AND I should know since I grew up in an actual Cree forest!

Chris: Oh, (chuckles) then I guess you're the Floating Salmon. Those without chutes. Shawn, Leonard, Ella, Dave, Beardo, Sky, and Sugar. Your team is the Waneyihtem Maskwak, which in Cree means Ferocious T-

Sky: CONFUSED BEARS! YEAH!

Chris: (rips card) (annoyed) This is what you get for using a free online translator!

Chef: My bad. (Walks away)

Chris: Anywho, seeing as there's nowhere for any of you to sleep every night, we figured your first challenge should be…to build your own shelter. (Walks away)

Sugar: (pouting) Oh, muffin tops! I'm too tired for that! (Sits down)

Beardo: (fart sound)

(Team Maskwak shocked)

Sugar: (shocked) THAT was NOT ME! The pageant queen never farts unless it is her talent! Or more to it, maybe she'd play a-

Chris: (whistles) (annoyed) HEY, FART MONSTER! (On top of debris) YEAH, I WAS TALKING! Each team may take supplies from the common area before they begin to build. But, these supplies are guarded by Chef, armed with a tennis ball blaster! (Jumps down) A glancing blow will sting!

Dave: (hit in forehead by tennis ball) OW! What's your problem?!

Chris: And a direct hit can take you right to the ground.

Max: (hit in leg by tennis ball) AGH! (Falls to ground)

Chris: Will someone please help that little boy to his feet?

(Rodney helps up Max, Max falls down again)

Chris: (shrugs) Good enough. On with the challenge. Team Maskwak will build their shelter further in there. Team Kinosewak towards the beach. And the best shelter according to ME, wins the challenge. (Air horn) Begin!

(Chef begins shooting at contestants)

Dave: Bears, follow me! (Team Maskwak retreats)

Jasmine: Let's move now, Salmons! (Team Kinosewak retreats)

* * *

><p>(Team Kinosewak)<p>

Jasmine and Rodney: Alright, here's the pla- (look at each other) What do you think you're- Can you listen for a second?

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Rodney: Back in the forest, it was just me, my dad, and my five little brothers. (Proud) I'm kind of used to being in charge.

(Confessional)

Jasmine: Sure, where I'm from, it's always the little guys scared by my stature and stuff, and by "little guys", I meant the cows in the ranch. (Blushes) And some cute non-cow guys too. (Serious) But it don't mean I'm gonna let him lead just cause I like him.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Jasmine: (serious) (grabs Rodney) Just listen here, alrighty? (Rodney fantasizes Jasmine) We need to decide what stuff out there are real important, and make sure we get 'em, got it?<p>

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Rodney: (dreamingly) We'll do it her way. It's never wrong to let love be your guide.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Jasmine: And that's how we'll win. Cool?<p>

Rodney: (dreamingly) (mumbling) With a plan that, flowers you, and sunsets that aren't true- (puckers lips)

Jasmine: (disturbed) (blushes) Um, o-kay then.

* * *

><p>(Team Maskwak)<p>

Dave: Okay, first we-

Sky: (excited) YEAH! Let's listen to this guy! Totally agree with you!

Dave: (confused) O-kay.

* * *

><p>Jasmine: The wood is a most important thing out there, so-<p>

(Scarlett raises her hand)

Jasmine: If y'all got something to say, Scarlett, just bark it out.

Scarlett: Um, no, but the wheelbarrow is more important than the wood, because it's a class two lever and with the wheel acting as a fulcrum-

Amy: So that means-

Amy and Samey: We can carry stuff in it!

(Amy glares at Samey)

Samey: Oh! Sorry, Amy! (Chuckles)

Jasmine: Mighty fine thinking, twins! You two help Rodney load the wood in the wheelbarrow and go.

Rodney: (dreamingly) Heavy is my heart-

Amy: (annoyed) (yanks Rodney's cheek) Let's go, loverboy!

* * *

><p>(Shawn walks into field, unfazed being hit by tennis balls, simply grabs a can of soup and walks back to team Maskwak)<p>

Sky: (excited) YEAH! Nice endurance, Shawn!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Shawn: Yeeaahh, don't really care for any of that mess, just want to get it over with and done. (Looks at soup) Cream of broccoli? Meh, whatevs.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Samey: (hit by tennis balls) AGH! AGH! AAAGH!<p>

Amy: (annoyed) Stop screaming! You're making us sound weak!

(Rodney tosses wood in wheelbarrow, scoops up Amy and Samey, runs back to team)

Jasmine: I'm a going for the rope, YEE-HAW! (Jumps high)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Topher: I'll bring my face!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Dave: (annoyed) Seriously? Soup? You grabbed soup?! You can't build a house out of soup!<p>

Shawn: (shrugs) Hey, don't blame me, you didn't say we had to grab building materials.

Dave: (irritated) I DID! (Face-palms) Didn't you listen?!

Leonard: I once built a castle using nothing but a sunflower and an eyelash of a dragon.

Sugar: There is no way we can lose, we've got a wizard on our team!

(Chef's blaster malfunctions)

Topher: H-h-hey Chris! You'd be going to commercial soon, right?

Chris: (confused) Um, yeah. Why do you ask, Topher?

Topher: (excited) Well, it's always been a dream of mine to see my GREATEST HERO IN PERSON! (Chris grins) I've looked up to you my ENTIRE LIFE!

(Chef rolls eyes)

Chris: (impressed) Well, who am I to deny the dreams of such an intelligent young man?! Pardon me a moment, building supplies are BIG collecting. Team Kinosewak is doing a very WOOD job! But Team Maskwak is looking kind of…SOUP-PID. You don't wanna miss any of it here on Total, Drama, Pahkitew Island!

Topher: (excited) Bravo! Bravo! Encore!

Chris: I like this kid.

* * *

><p>Chris: We're back! The players are moving, Chef is shooting, pick your favorite team, and let's start a rooting!<p>

Topher: (laughs) So funny! Love your jokes.

Chris: Thank you, but now it's time to get YOU back in the challenge! (Pushes Topher to Chef)

Topher: (excited) Yeah! I'm already psyched for- (Chef throws Topher into field) (screams) (lands in front of Jasmine) (hit by tennis balls)

Ella: (Sings) When a house is a home and a home is a house. This is not a dress, it's a skirt and a blouse.

Chris: (confused) Is she singing?

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Ella: (surrounded by animals) I was a HUGE fan of Total Drama World Tour, and just because we don't have to sing anymore doesn't mean we can't.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>(Birds hit by tennis balls)<p>

Ella: (happy) Good news! I've found a bucket of glitter!

Leonard: Marvelous!

Dave: (annoyed) Um, no, not marvelous! Glitter?! Seriously?! Is she out of her mind?!

Sugar: (frowns) Oh, she must be! Because it's obvious that the glitter should be MINE!

Dave: (disbelief) What?!

Sky: (excited) YEAH! Okay Dave, draw Chef's fire while Beardo makes a run for it! (Grabs Dave)

Beardo: (thumbs up, wrestling bell)

Dave: (panic) WAIT! THAT'S NOT THE PLA- (gets pushed into field) (nervously) Um, hey there? (Dodges tennis balls) Whoa! Hey! Oh!

Sky: Okay, Beardo, CHAARRGE!

Beardo: (Million dollar man sound effect) (charges in slow motion)

Dave: (annoyed) Okay, why are you running in slow motion?!

(Tennis ball hits Beardo in groin)

Beardo: (grimaces) (falls over covering groin)

Sugar: (searching) Oh, come now! (Hold up small television) Isn't there another bucket of glitter somewhere in this mess?! (hit in cheek by tennis ball, television drops on her head) OW!

Chris and Chef: (Laughing and high five)

(Scarlett runs with wagon carrying supplies and Max)

Max: Move faster, minion, before we- (hit in nose by tennis ball) AGH!

Dave: (exhausted) (groans)

Leonard: (jumps into field) This foe is beyond you. Fly, you fool!

Dave: (confused) Um, okay? (Crawls away)

Leonard: (Grabs pipe) (Dramatically) Go back to the shadows of Wawanakwa! YOU SHALL NOT PA-(repeatedly hit by tennis balls)

Dave: Okay Sky, hear me out! We need to-

Sky: (runs into field) The power of the crane strikes back! (Front handspring) (Grabs board) HI-YAH! (Swings tennis ball)

(Chef gets hit in eye)

Sky: ALL RIGHT, BULLSEYE! YEAAHHH! (Flips repeatedly)

(Chef wakes up)

Chris: (impressed) (to Chef) Wow, girl's got some skills, does she? Probably the new Izzy too, know what I mean?

(Both teams searching debris)

Chris: (air horn) IT'S BUILDING TIME! (to Chef) You coming or get paid for half the episode? (Walks off laughing)

Chef: (follows Chris) (groaning)

* * *

><p>(Max at cave)<p>

Max: An evil genius needs an evil lair to do his work. (Gasps) This cave will be perfect! (Laughs manically, squeaks) Hmm, try that again. (Laughs manically, squeaks) (Exhales) It's not important. (Runs inside cave) TO MY LAIR! (Runs out screaming) (Bats come out of cave)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Max: (scared) It was very dark in there, so I prefer something less spooky. (Calms down) Not to worry, no rush, plenty of time to evil!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Jasmine: Scarlett and Topher, clear the boards. Rodney, help me with the support beams. Amy and Samey, faster!<p>

Amy: (annoyed) Um, who died and put you in charge? Oohh, I get it! You're trying to sabotage us by making us do all the work while YOU sit around and ditch us. Obviously just because you're so tall doesn't mean none of us wanted to argue with the wannabe most threatening on the island, so why don't you stop being all lazy and help?

(Team Kinosewak stop and stare at Jasmine)

Samey: She has a point, Jasmine.

Jasmine: (annoyed) (sighs) Alright, fine then!

Beardo: (jackhammer noise)

Amy: Um, what was that?

Samey: Sounds like they're building something big.

Jasmine: (scowls) All more reason to keep working hard.

Beardo: (jackhammer noise)

Dave: (irritated) WOULD YOU STOP MAKING THOSE SOUND EFFECTS ALREADY?!

Beardo: (truck backing up sound)

Shawn: (deadpan) So, uh, what're we gonna build?

Dave: (annoyed) We have rope, straw, a hammer,

Ella: Some very pretty glitter,

Sky: And SOUP, YUM!

Leonard: We shall build a wizard's tower!

Sky: (excited) Yeah! That's the greatest idea I've heard since like ever! I second that! (Raises hand in approval)

Sugar: (raises hand in approval) Wizard says, Sugar does.

Shawn: (deadpan) Meh, whatever you say. (Raises hand in approval)

Beardo: (slump sound) (ding) (raises hand in approval)

Sugar: Five votes for wizard tower!

Dave: (disbelief) What?! (Serious) N-No! NO! We're not going to-

Ella: Dave, it's okay. It is better than building nothing, right?

Sky: (excited) Yeah! So what do we do first Leonard?

Leonard: First, we link arms and chant!

(Team Maskwak cheers)

Dave: (annoyed) Seriously?!

* * *

><p>Jasmine: (hammers in last nail) There. Done!<p>

Chris: (flies over treehouse) This is nice! And a smart move building it above ground level!

Max: Oh yeah? And why is that?

(Rumbling)

Jasmine: Whoa, now! AAHH! (Falls off roof, Rodney catches her grinning love-struck at confused Jasmine)

Chris: Here comes your answer!

Max: (screaming) (trampled by herd of moose)

Chris: This island is way wilder than the last one! (Laughs)

Beardo: (fanfare)

Dave: (annoyed) Ugh! ZIP IT!

Beardo: (record skip)

Dave: Well, this is horrible.

Leonard: But it's not done yet! Ella?

Sugar: (scowls) (takes glitter) Leave this to the perfectionals! (Throws glitter at tower)

Dave: (turns to see Shawn leaving) Huh? (Annoyed) Okay, where's Shawn going?!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Shawn: This challenge is an obvious total FAIL so I took a walk around, big deal. Wish I had my cellphone with me so this show wouldn't become more boring than it already has.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Chris: So Team Maskwak, wizard's tower huh?<p>

Dave: (annoyed) (groans)

Chris: But, is it moose-proof? (Chuckles)

Sky: SAY WHAT, NOW?!

(Moose herd appears and chase team Maskwak, Leonard falls to floor)

Beardo: (alarm sounds) (jumps into bushes)

Leonard: Huzzah! The beasts of Pahkitew are not match for (pats tower) my wizard's tower!

(Tower begins collapsing)

Leonard: FORCE FIELD! (Tower collapses around Leonard) (Happy) It worked!

* * *

><p>(Team meeting)<p>

Chris: I like to say it was a hard decision, but let's keep it real. Team Pimâpotew Kinosewak wins the challenge!

(Team Kinosewak cheers)

Max: No. Evil does not high-five.

Chris: And the winners of each challenge will be rewarded this season with a takeout order from its sponsoring restaurant. This week, it's (pulls out dinner) The Petting Zoo Barbeque, someone else touched your dinner, we guarantee it! (Winks)

Sugar: (pouting) Oh, shoot. I always wanted a pony.

Chris: Team Waneyihtem Maskwak, please go vote! One member of your team is heading home today.

(Team Maskwak groans)

* * *

><p>(Bonfire ceremony)<p>

Chris: Welcome to the Pahkitew Island elimination area. This is where we determine who stays to play another day, and who gets a one-way ticket home.

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Dave: (deadpan) Can I vote for FOUR people, specifically the one called "The Wild Sky"?

(Confessional)

Leonard: (upset) I don't get it! How can a wizard's tower NOT WIN?!

(Confessional)

Beardo: (racecar sound) (racecar screeching and crashing sound) (falls down)

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Chris: The votes are in. If I hand you a marshmallow, you're safe. Sky,<p>

Sky: YES! (Eats marshmallow savagely)

Chris: Shawn, Dave, Ella, and Sugar, (Sugar catches marshmallow in mouth) you're all safe. Beardo, you did very little to help your team with your random sound effects and tried to convince us Sugar farted!

(Sugar glares at Beardo)

Beardo: (whinnying sound)

Chris: Leonard, you took your pathetic role-playing too far, and you convinced your team to build something very, very, stupid.

Leonard: (waves wand) (sad) Alicus Forgetticus.

Chris: (annoyed) Uh, yeah! Okay! The last marshmallow goes to… (Dramatic music) Leonard.

Leonard: (happy) Hah-hah! Marvelous!

Beardo: (sad) (PacMan dying noise)

Dave: (relieved) Heh, game over.

Chris: This island is named Pahkitew, which is the Cree word for-

Sky: EXPLODING! YEAH!

Chris: (annoyed) Riiigght, so we thought it's fitting that this season's mode of transportation home should be something with a bang!

(Cannon of shame: Beardo)

Chris: Without further ado, I give you… (Chef reveals cannon of shame) the cannon of shame!

(Team Maskwak gasps)

Chris: Any last words?

Beardo: (loading cartridge sound)

Chris: So long, Beardo.

Beardo: (explosion whistle sound)

Chris: (annoyed) Ugh! Enough already!

(Fires Beardo)

Beardo: IT WAS NICE MEETING ALL OF YOU!

Chris: You know something? I already don't miss him! (Laughs) That's one down, and thirteen to go! Who's going to be the next cannonball? Tune in to find out here, on TOTAL, DRAMA, PAHKITEW ISLAND!

* * *

><p><strong>Note<strong>: Sugar (voiced by Katie Bergin)

Jasmine (voiced by Rochelle Wilson)


	3. Mo Monkey Mo Problems

2. Mo Monkey Mo Problems

With thirteen contestants remaining, Chris initiates a monkey scavenger hunt, where each team has to find a golden coin and insert it into a vending machine before the other. Sugar continues to hate on Ella, while she and Sky additionally begin to dote on Dave, while Max purposely gets his own team caught in one of his traps as payback for not taking his "evil nature" seriously. In the end, he realizes his mistake too late as he is the next to be eliminated.

* * *

><p>(Team Kinosewak's treehouse)<p>

Jasmine: (wakes up) (yawns) (jumps down tree)

Amy: (annoyed) Um, what are you doing?

Jasmine: Going to forage some food for my team, better keep our heads up and about!

Amy: (confused) Foraging? Isn't that dangerous?

Jasmine: Eh, I been through worse, raised in the outback ranch and all that stuff.

Amy: O-kay… want some help?

Jasmine: Al-righty then!

Samey: (happy) Can I come too?

Jasmine: Sure, the more the-

Amy: (scoffs) No! You're staying right here to wake up everybody inside, since they're like, all lazy slackers.

Jasmine: (serious) HEY! She can come if she wants now, ALRIGHT?!

Samey: (pondering) Um actually, I guess it's okay, though, (happy) you two have fun getting the food!

Amy: Good! I'm way smarter than all those dimwits on the team, anyways.

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Amy: After I was born, I had to wait SEVENTEEN minutes for mom to get Samey out. I mean, can you imagine?! If I had walked by then, I would have left without those two as they both wasted my time!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>(Team Maskwak)<p>

Leonard: (standing on rock) It was then that I have encountered a vicious unknown beast, (Dave sitting on rock annoyed, Sky crouching on rock amazed, Shawn lying back on rock uncaring) luckily I had enough mana to banish it with a displacement spell!

Sugar: (amazed) Oh-ho-ho, Mr. Wizard, I haven't got an idea what you just said, but that's how I know you're smart.

Ella: (sings) A harrowing tale of dungeons and dice! A festering monster that just wasn't nice!

Sugar: (angry) SHUT YOUR SONG HOLE MISSY! I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO THE WIZARD!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Sugar: Oh, Sugar is SO onto Ella's "nice little performance". She'd better watch her back, 'cause ain't nobody but ME is going to win this here pageant!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Dave: (annoyed) Um, maybe instead of making up stories and-<p>

Leonard: (jumps down) (offended) You doubt my word?! It happened!

Sky: (jumps down) YEAH! You so have a point there! Can you find us somewhere to hibernate for the winter?!

Leonard: (confused) Huh?

Shawn: (deadpan) What they mean is that they want to focus on finding a legitimate shelter, duh.

Dave: (annoyed) And THEY have a point, because we used ROCKS as pillows last night! Very UNCLEAN and UNORDERLY rocks.

Leonard: (scoffs) PUH-LEASE! I levitated all night!

Ella: (prancing past team, singing)

(Dave face-palms)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Dave: (annoyed) Am I on the right show? Or did I land on my head falling from the blimp last time? (Worried) Is that it? I'm unconscious, and this is all a nightmare?! (Groans in frustration) (Calm) But I guess THIS is my team, (serious) but if we don't win some challenges soon, I'll never make it to the finale! I REALLY need the money to move out and for my planned always perfectly neat and orderly house!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>(Amy and Jasmine foraging)<p>

Jasmine: I don't get what's up with you not letting your sister foraging with us, I mean, y'all should never underestimate anyone and all that jazz.

Amy: (scoffs) (mutters) Please, like I'm weaker than anybody like you!

Jasmine: Now this is real interesting, (confused) what in tarnation is a Chinese mulberry bush doing in this part of country? (Looks back at Amy)

Amy: Ugh, finally! Some real food for me! (About to eat fruit)

Jasmine: (panics) NNOOO! (throws stick at fruit) (Pinning it to a tree)

Amy: (annoyed) HEY! What's your problem?! I was about to eat that!

Jasmine: Sorry 'bout that but that there's a-

Rodney: (standing on branch) Manchineel fruit. The Spanish refer it as _manzanilla de la muerte _also known as the little apple of death! (Jumps down)

Jasmine: He's all right about that, though it wouldn't have killed you, but would've made your mouth go all blistery and stuff.

Amy: (looks at blistered hand) My hand! (Scratches) Why is it so itchy?!

Rodney: Just calm down, first lesson in survival 101, be careful of what you eat. Lesson two, soak your hand in water, scrub it with sand, and swelling gone!

Amy: (angry) (to Jasmine) YOU did that on PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU!

Jasmine: (defensive) What?! Hey now, this was all YOUR doing there! If you had been more careful, then y'all wouldn't have got that rash swelling up like a wicket keeper's glove!

(Amy confused)

Jasmine: You know, cricket? It's a game from Down Under, Australia? (Sighs in defeat) Just go wash up, alrighty? You won't be any help with that now.

(Amy walks away fuming)

Jasmine: (looks at Rodney's bag of fruit) Hey there, that's a fine looking score you got there!

Rodney: Well, I'm quite the outdoorsman, raised all my life as a wood-chopping lumberjack so (proud) I pretty much know my way around the forest and all.

Jasmine: Mighty impressive, but what you doing up that there tree?

Rodney: Oh that's where I slept, wouldn't want to get mauled by werewolves of the night or anything if you know what I mean.

Jasmine: (impressed) Well, bust my britches, (pats Rodney's shoulder) I hear that, partner!

(Rodney blushes and grins)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Jasmine: (giggles) Okay, not only is that boy there is cute, but he's pretty funny too. Werewolves, where he get that kind of humor? (Giggles)

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Chris: (loudspeaker) Campers! The only good thing about this morning is…that it's gonna get worse…for you! (Laughs) There's a path leading to the team meeting. Follow it to today's suck-tacular challenge!<p>

(Team Maskwak walking through forest)

Dave: (groans in hunger) It sure would be nice to have some food right about now.

Sky: Wait, you guys wanted food?! (Happy) Why didn't you say so?! I could've foraged for you guys if you asked! (Jumps up to tree, picks multiple berries, jumps down with two sacks full of berries) Ta-dah!

Dave: (impressed) Wow! Way to go, Sky!

Sky: Sure, Dave. I'd do anything… (Puts berries in Dave's hand) (Dreamingly) for you.

Dave: (confused) Um, okay?

Shawn: (sarcastically) Yeah, then maybe you should do ALL the foraging for the team cause that kind of stuff is waaayy too tiring.

Leonard: Yes, you'd make an excellent kitchen witch.

Sky: Okay, sure! I can do that!

* * *

><p>(Team Kinosewak walking through forest)<p>

Topher: Wow! Those berries sure have all the antioxidants that'll surely give Chris' skin that healthy camera-worthy glow. So glad you got them, Samey.

Amy: (angry) HEY! I got the berries, not Samey!

Samey: Whoa, it's alright, Amy, we're twins, remember? No need to worry about it, everyone will be able to tell us apart eventually, right guys?

(Team Kinosewak talk in agreement)

Samey: (proud) That's the spirit! AND with our diverse set of skills, I think we can win most challenges before the merge. But we have to work together, as a team! Come on! Let's do this! GO, TEAM KINOSEWAK!

Team Kinosewak (except Amy): (inspired) GO TEAM KINOSEWAK!

Amy: (looks around in annoyance) (sighs in defeat) Okay, fine. Go team Kinosewak.

* * *

><p>(Team meeting)<p>

Jasmine: (looks around island) Hey now, something's weird 'bout the island here, those trees yesterday are real closer together and that mountain's ain't there before.

Chris: (annoyed) And I am one hundred percent sure YOU are a few koalas short of a swarm.

Jasmine: (confused) Swarm of what? Koalas?

Sugar: (mocking) Cuckoo clock!

Chris: Today's challenge is called Snack Attack. This vending machine only takes gold coins. The first team to get their gold coin into the machine wins, and gets something to eat.

Dave: That sounds easy enough.

Chris: (smirking) I was hoping one of you would say something like that. (Turns to Chef) Cheeff? (Chef opens box, two monkeys come out) I'm giving the coins to Alphonse and Betty here, (flicks coins to monkeys) who are now going to run away. (Monkeys run off)

Sky: They're getting away!

Jasmine: Let's get 'em!

Chris: (stops teams) Stooopp! Nobody move! The monkeys get a head start. Kinosewak's monkey has a blue necklace, Maskwak's monkey is in the pink one.

(Sugar hogs vending machine)

Chris: (annoyed) Sugar, please step away from the vending machine. (Sugar slides down)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Sugar: (annoyed) What? You've never licked the glass off a vending machine hoping for a tasty piece of cheesy flavored nacho taco puffed stops? Live a little!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Sky: (whispering) No worries, I've got a secret weapon. (pulls out banana)<p>

Chris: Okay, you can go after your monkeys… riiiigght… nnnow!

(Teams chase after monkeys)

Sugar: (to vending machine) I'm going back for you. With a rock!

Chris: (annoyed) Try anything like that, and you're taking the cannon soon. Now get going, that monkey's not gonna catch itself, Sugar.

Sugar: (fuming) Ooohhh, (kicks vending machine) fine! (walks off)

Jasmine: Hurry now, y'all! That monkey could be halfway to Brisbane by now! (Rodney, Scarlett, Samey, and Topher run by Jasmine)

Amy: (annoyed) Um, didn't my sister tell you to stop trying to be the leader? Or did your brain run away from you? (Walks off) No one asked YOU to be the boss.

Jasmine: (annoyed) Hey, I'm just trying to help y'all do your best and-

Max: Yes, she is correct, so I, for one am done taking orders from you, Jas-man. (Fail intimidating pose) Hee-yah!

Jasmine: (annoyed) (picks up Max) Oh, never mind! I'll do it myself. (Hangs Max on tree branch)

Max: Aagh! Evil will not be foiled by a mere wedgie! (Falls off tree branch) AAAHH! (Falls to ground)

Scarlett: (annoyed) Max, do you know why she doesn't fear you?

Max: Because she has a dumb face and is a stinky bad person?!

Scarlett: No, it is because you are too incompetent to be much of a threat to any of us.

Max: (offended) (gasps) How dare you!

Scarlett: True evil does not discriminate, it is evil to all, and it is evil to show how you're much willing to win this, but until then. (Walks off)

Max: We will see! I shall show you all the meaning of respect! (Pants fall down)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Max: Scarlett would make a great assistant to me, I mean she's hopelessly in love with me but I must remain focus on my work. Evil doesn't date. Once I show them all who the true evil is, my plan for world domination will commence! First, I will control this island, then this hemisphere, then the world! (Laughs evilly) (Gasps) (Excited) There it is! THAT was an evil laugh!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>(Team Maskwak approach monkey in river)<p>

Sky: (whispering) Okay Sugar, hand me the banana and I'll try and trade it for the (turns to see Sugar eat banana) cooiiin-aw!

Sugar: What? You never said the banana was for the monkey tricking plan. Besides, you're better off using the element of SURPRISE! (Leaps at monkey, misses, falls in river)

Maskwak monkey: (Laughs) (Runs past team Maskwak, climbs up tree, eats coin)

Team Maskwak: (gasps) NOOOO!

* * *

><p>Kinosewak monkey: (Jumps through bushes, loses necklace)<p>

Jasmine: (walks through bushes, finds necklace) Hah! (picks up necklace) Losing your jewelry ain't gonna help you fella, cause I am hot on your ta- (Sees multiple monkeys up tree) NOOOOOOOO!

Max: (finishes setting trap) There! The trap is set. Once the team has the coin and comes back this way to the vending machine, they'll be all like, "Ooh we're gonna win and Max is a loser, ha-hah." And then SNAP! They'll be hoisted up into the air and be all like, "Oh, help us Max, we're losing now!" And I'll be like, "Not until you bow to my evilousity and make me your leader!" And then I will get the respect I deserve! (Laughs evilly)

Scarlett: (walks through bushes) (annoyed) There you are! Come on, Max! Jasmine found the monkey! Let's go! (walks off)

Max: Oh, I'll be there in a minute! (chuckles) All accordingly to my evil plan!

* * *

><p>Sky: (about to pounce on monkey) Hold her, Dave while I get the coin!<p>

Dave: (worried) Wait, did Chris say anything about pre-washing the monkeys, delousing them, or even not dressing them up nicely?!

(Bear appears behind team Maskwak and eats monkey)

Dave: (annoyed) Are you kidding me?! (to bear) Spit it out!

Bear: (roars at team Maskwak)

Team Maskwak (except Dave and Shawn): (screaming)

Chris: (pauses screen) If that's how it is for team Maskwak, I don't think I could BEAR it! (Laughs) (Chef rolls eyes and shakes head) What? Too hilarious? Want to see how angry a bear can get? Me too! So, stay tuned to Total, Drama, Pahkitew Island!

* * *

><p>Jasmine: (annoyed) Come on now! Which one of you has it?!<p>

Samey: Does this mean any one of these monkeys could be our monkey?

Max: HAH! (snatches necklace from Jasmine's hand) Who does this belong to? SPEAK!

(Monkeys growl and throw feces at Max)

Max: (annoyed) Ugh! They're throwing mud!

(Jasmine, Amy, Samey, and Topher disgusted)

Jasmine: (disgusted) That ain't mud.

Max: (annoyed) Well of course it's mud, what else could it… (realizes it's feces) (disgusted) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Max: (cringes in disgust)

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>(Team Maskwak with bear)<p>

Bear: (belches)

Ella: (worried) How will we solve this, friends?

Shawn: (deadpan) It's a coin, wrapped around a monkey, trapped in a bear, might be impossible.

Leonard: But we can get it back, nothing's impossible for the work of magic. Step aside! (approaches bear)

Dave: (annoyed) Seriously? Are you crazy or something?!

Sugar: (happy) Whoo! You go, mister wizard! Show your magic! I'd like to see that!

Leonard: (poses) (dramatically) Savage bear, spew out, the monkey and the coin now! (Bear grabs Leonard) Whoa! (shocked) I don't get it! It should've worked!

Dave: (frustrated) Ugh! Great! Anyone with another idea?

Sugar: Well, we could try some bran muffins and some bad cabbage.

Sky: (happy) Well, yeah it could work.

Dave: Eww! No, look, the coin is in there right? So let's just bring Chris the whole bear. (bear becomes shocked)

Team Maskwak: (shocked) (gasps)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Sky: (excited) OH MY GOSH! That's an awesome idea! (laughs) I've been wanting to be at the top of food chain! Dave's plan to bring the bear to Chris is SO COOL! AND as his girlfriend, I know how it is!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Sky: (happy) This is an awesome, awesome plan! I'm so not afraid of the bear! Let's do this, Dave! (grabs Dave) (approaches bear)<p>

Dave: (panics) Wait, that's not what I-

Sky: Here, sir bear! I offer you a feast if you obey your queen! (pushes Dave into bear) (bear grabs Dave)

Dave: (panics) AAHH! (whimpers) What was that, Sky?! I thought you were gonna take it down by yourself!

Sky: (wonders) Oh, was I supposed to do that instead? (Chuckles) Sorry, Dave! Totally my fault!

(Bear licks Dave and Leonard)

Dave: (scared) EWW! (whimpers) And his arms haven't been even cleaned!

* * *

><p>(Team Kinosewak)<p>

Scarlett: Our best chance to find which monkey has the coin is by conducting a neuro-scientific experiment. I mean it's no secret there's hyperactivity in the motor neurons of primates, right? (chuckles) (Team Kinosewak confused) (annoyed) (sighs) We play monkey see monkey do?

Team Kinosewak: (realizes what she said) Great idea!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Scarlett: (annoyed) Use. Little. Words.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Leonard: (dramatically) Bear! I command you to release us! Beary, beary, release us now, from the arms of (bear squeezes Leonard) (chokes)<p>

Dave: (scared) Please, guys! HELP ME! (Bear growls at Sky ready to pounce) Wait! Changed my mind, don't help me! (Bear licks Dave) (disgusted) OH!

Sky: (worried) Anyone got any ideas? We need to save Dave, fast!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Sugar: Oh, it's simple, having to choose between beauty, grace, and brains. But I've got all of those! WHOO-HOO!

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Dave: (disgusted) Please hurry it up! It feels like the time I went to a bathroom at the opera and- (realizes something) Wait. That's it! Ella, sing to the bear! Sing to it!<p>

Ella: (confused) Huh? (unsure) I don't know if that will work. I thought you didn't like my singing.

Sugar: (annoyed) Duh! You can't even sing a birdy to sleep in it's nest!

Dave: (panics) Sugar, please! Ella, just try it! It might work!

Ella: (still unsure) Uh, I'm still not sure.

* * *

><p>Jasmine: (to monkeys) Alright, monkeys! Wave your hands in the air! (team Kinosewak waves arms) (Monkeys waves arms)<p>

Topher: (to monkeys) Cool guy double point to the camera! (team Kinosewak points) (monkeys stop waving and point)

Max: (nervous) Whoa! Slow down! This is tricky.

Amy: (pulls out coin) (to monkeys) Throw a coin in the air! (team Kinosewak flips coins) (Kinosewak monkey flips coin) (catches coin) Hah! Gotcha, suckers! (Monkeys glare at Kinosewak monkey, Kinosewak monkey face-palms)

Jasmine: Now let's head back! (Team Kinosewak except Max run back to meeting area)

Max: (pulls out coin) Ready! (looks around) (confused) Hey, where everybody go?

* * *

><p>(Bear squeezing Dave and Leonard further)<p>

Dave: (choking) You can do it, Ella! I know you can! Please try!

Ella: Um, okay, I'll try! (Singing) (Bear entranced, releases Dave and Leonard) (Normal) time for walkies, mister bear!

* * *

><p>(Team Kinosewak running back to meeting area, Max joins in)<p>

Max: (sees trap ahead) (whispers) Yes! Almost to the trap, and…

(Team Kinosewak caught in net trap)

Amy: (irritated) What the? Where did this come from?!

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Max: Yes! Did you see that?! I have never pulled off such cruel looking evil. Pure sinister gold! (Laughs manically)

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Jasmine: (angry) AUGH! I bet Sky built this trap!<p>

Max: (laughs) WRONG, FOOLS! It was I! ME! (laughs evilly)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Scarlett: (annoyed) Great. And he's gone now.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>(Team Maskwak walking back to meeting area with bear entranced)<p>

Ella: (sings) Walking with a bear, it doesn't matter where. The sun is out, and I haven't got a caaaaarrre!

Rodney: (amazed) Whoa. I've never seen such a happy bear. Not even in cereal commercials.

Jasmine: (irritated) If we lose this challenge, guess who I'M voting for!

Max: (confused) Um, out of my winner.

Jasmine: (irritated) UNBELIEVABLE! (pulls net) How we gonna get down?

Max: (smirks) Escape is impossible. This trap was built by the most EVIL mind! There is no escape! (net snaps and drops team Kinosewak)

* * *

><p>(Team Maskwak in meeting area with bear still entranced)<p>

Chris: (confused) Is the bear in a trance? How did you manage that?

Sugar: (irritated) Ella sang to it! And that kind of power should be MINE!

Chris: (annoyed) Great, should've figured. You just had to steal the fun right out of the challenge for me.

Dave: But the point is, (point at bear) we have the coin!

Chris: (annoyed) Riiight, you say the coin's inside the monkey which is inside this bear. That's the story you all agreed on?

Ella: It's true!

Sugar: (impatient) Oh, enough of this, already! I'm getting my snack if it means getting the bear to cough it up! (runs to bear, squeezes bear hard) ALRIGHT, FUZZY! GIVE ME THAT MONKEY! (squeezes bear further, bear coughs up license plate)

Dave: (disgusted) Ew!

Sugar: (squeezes bear again, bear coughs up wallet and shoe)

Dave: (disgusted) Ugh!

Sugar: (impatient) Come now, I know it's in there! (squeezes bear, bear coughs up Maskwak monkey)

Team Maskwak (except Shawn): (disgusted) EWW!

Sugar: (throws bear aside) (smirks) And as for you! (approaches monkey) Give me that coin! (picks up monkey, shoves hand inside monkey's mouth)

Dave: (disgusted) Ew! Don't do that.

Sugar: (reaching inside stomach) Come on, give it to me now, Betty!

Ella: (worried) Oh my!

Sky: (worried) Please stop!

Jasmine: (running out of forest, holding coin) Yee-hah! I've got the coin!

Dave: (gasps) Search faster, Sugar!

Sky: (panics) Jasmine's almost there!

Leonard: (panics) Find that coin!

Sugar: (happy) Ah-hah! (pulls out coin) Ta-dah! (drops monkey)

* * *

><p>(Confessional)<p>

Sugar: Going through that monkey's stomach was nothing like going for a needle in a haystack. Reminds me of that time I had to reach in my dog's throat for a roasted turkey. It was not pretty, but I'm not going to let my dinner get spoiled.

(End confessional)

* * *

><p>Sugar: (walks up to Chris, holding up coin) (proud) I'll have my snack now.<p>

Chris: (disgusted) Uuuugghh! You gotta get it in the vending machine to win, Sugar.

Jasmine: (runs past Chris and Sugar) Coming through!

Team Maskwak (except Shawn): (panics)

Jasmine: (approaches vending machine)

Sugar: (smirks) Easy peasy! (tosses coin into vending machine)

Jasmine: (gasps in shock)

Team Maskwak (except Shawn and Sugar): (cheering)

Chris: (impressed) Whoa! Game over! Team Maskwak wins their first challenge! (Bear eats monkey, walks away) Today's snack food is from our Japanese arch footage, it's Chef Hatchet's Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails! (Turns to team Kinosewak) Okay, team Kinosewak, it's time for you to vote to determine who's going in the cannon the first time. (team Kinosewak glare at smug Max)

* * *

><p>(Team Maskwak walking inside cave)<p>

Sky: (excited) You'll never believe what I've found! HERE WE ARE!

Dave: (confused) It's a…cave.

Sky: (crouches on rock) (proud) YEP! And it's perfect for shelter! I just figured another night in the rain isn't gonna help us win other challenges.

Dave: (impressed) Oh. Well, thanks. That's very thoughtful of you.

Sugar: It needs a little sparkles though.

Shawn: (deadpan) So you finally gonna sleep like a sane person?

Sky: No thanks! I'll just sleep in the trees! (jumps down rock, walks out of cave) I am like a wild animal, you know. (Chuckles)

* * *

><p>(Bonfire Ceremony)<p>

Max: (smug) (chuckles)

Scarlett: (annoyed) What are you so happy about? You know you're getting voted off, right?

Max: (smug) Hmph, evil will see, assistant.

Chris: Jasmine, Rodney, Topher, Amy, Samey, and the final marshmallow goes to Scarlett! That means tonight's big time loser is, Max!

Max: (shocked) WHAT?! NO! (Angry) THIS IS INCONCEIVABLE! I was supposed to be the evil one this season!

Chris: (deadpan) Yeaah, too late for that, you're obviously not really villain material anyways so, into the cannon with you!

Max: NO! I want my revenge! REVENGE! I am the one true evil on this island! It must be mine! (throws tantrum) NO FAIR! NO FAIR! NO FAAAIIRR!

* * *

><p>(Cannon of shame: Max)<p>

Max: This is an outrage! I demand that you give me a second chance or evil will be-

Chris: (shoves bag in Max's mouth) (smirks) Yeah, yeah, whatevs, better luck next time kid! (laughs)

(Fires Max)

Max: (muffled screaming)

Chris: Good riddance! It just goes to show you that the only ratings worth of villainy for that guy is to get fired out of a cannon. Tune in next time for more pain and less Max right here on Total, Drama, Pahkitew Island!

* * *

><p><strong>Note: Throughout the story, I don't mind reviews, though I would like your opinions of the character changes based on the storyboard of episode 1.<strong>

Sky- changed from (**The Athlete**) to (**The Wild Chick**); Based on the episode 1 storyboard, she looks like being a aspiring wild child with an uncivilized background as she looks absolutely nothing like an Olympian; Also, her relationship with Dave has switched roles, only that Sky is more obsessed than the original Dave and also has original Shawn and Jasmine's survivalist expertize.

Dave- upgraded from his original germ phobia behavior to 100 percent neat freak; has a relationship with Ella instead because of her equal civilized mannerisms and shows no interest in Sky at all; also has original Sky's competitive drive to win with a plan for the money only to be depraved by Sky's clingy obsession for him; like a classic neat freak, my Dave is all about politeness and proper behavior, but has to deal with everyone's incompetence; has no comparison to contestant Noah, said comparison passed on to Shawn instead

Sugar- upgraded from country pageant queen to British city pageant queen; switched voices with Jasmine; original role of main antagonist downgraded to secondary; based on the storyboard, she looks more British than Southern.

Ella- has a relationship with Dave and lasted a little shorter in the competition but still sings every song original Ella has; unleashes an extreme badass side in next season

Jasmine- has a relationship with Rodney instead of Shawn; in fact, dislikes Shawn from the start; switched voices with Sugar; downgraded from outback survivalist to outback ranch worker, with a family of Southern American immigrants; lasted much less in the competition

Rodney- downgraded from his lover-boy status due to an official relationship with Jasmine; has original Shawn's role of conspiracy theorist due to being a lumberjack; based on Red Riding Hood, my version of Rodney believes in werewolves and other supernatural beings, theorizes the mechanical Pahkitew island to be a conspiracy to turn humans into robots, based on Five Nights of Freddy; obviously looks more like a lumberjack than a farmer in the storyboard; changes roles with Shawn as a protagonist

Shawn- paranoia of zombies downgraded to an embarrassing fear of zombies which he hides from everyone with a hipster persona because of obviously no evidence of where his paranoia came from; changed from a conspiracy nut to a normal hipster; believes everything to be boring and disliked by his fellow competitors for his laziness, uncaring attitude, and directly insulting them without hesitation; changes roles with Rodney as a minor contestant

Beardo- no significant changes

Leonard- no significant changes except lasting one episode longer; apparently took the leadership role

Amy- downgraded her bullying of Samey, but on everyone instead; takes Scarlett's role as main antagonist, being much more focused on the competition; her superiority complex over Samey has passed to her fellow competitors instead; unlike original Amy, my version of Amy is hated by everyone instead of being well liked; her role as antagonist involves underhanded tactics, pulling unfair tricks, and unsportsmanlike behavior, as in the opposite of original Sky

Samey- intelligence downgraded but has original Sky's sense of fairness, sportsmanship, and honorable ways; her extreme doormat role completely removed, and wants to be close friends with her sister, but completely oblivious to her cruel nature; instead clashes with Amy over beliefs in fairness; unlike original Samey, this version is actually very confident and well liked by her fellow contestants and at home too, and also does not mind being called Samey at all, even referring herself as Samey instead of Sammy; unfortunately, despite her role upgraded to major, she lasted before Amy due to Amy pulling the switcheroo instead; **Note: I actually prefer her being called Samey because there is already Sam and I think it suits her better**

Scarlett- role of main antagonist replaced but still has a major role; interacts with Max extremely less due to being the first teammate voted out; still keeps her drive to win but with much less malevolent intentions

Max- (The Super Villain) label changed to (The Not So Super Villain) for obvious reasons; plays a minor role as a contestant, lasting to after Beardo

Topher- actually admires Chris to the point of being like Sierra instead of wanting his job; takes Chris's side and defends him when a contestant badmouths him instead of directly offending Chris instead, even when Chris left everyone including Topher himself to die; lasted longer as a contestant


End file.
